


Who Ya Gonna Duel?

by lucidscreamer



Series: 100 Yu-Gi-Oh Prompts [24]
Category: The Real Ghostbusters, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Crossover, Dark Magic, Gen, Humor, Joey's POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22858288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucidscreamer/pseuds/lucidscreamer
Summary: Ryou has a new set of Monster World figures. Joey has a sinking feeling it's no coincidence they look as familiar to him (a former New Yorker) as they do.(AKA The one where ancient Egyptian spirits and modern Ghostbusters don't mix.)
Series: 100 Yu-Gi-Oh Prompts [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1266368
Comments: 11
Kudos: 42





	Who Ya Gonna Duel?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Yugioh is the creation of Kazuki Takahashi. The Real Ghostbusters belongs to a bunch of corporate entities including DiC, and is based on the movie Ghostbusters, created by Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis.
> 
> Prompt: 64. Black Magic (100 YGO Themes)
> 
> Note: Wow, I wrote this a long time ago. More than a decade ago, for sure; I'm not entirely sure when I started writing YGO fic, so it's difficult to pin down the exact year.. *boggles* Anyway, this is an extremely OLD story that I unearthed from the early Jurassic layer of files on an old back-up disk. I've cleaned it up a tiny bit and cobbled together an ending, but there's not a lot of plot here and, since I didn't do a "from the ground up rewrite," the difference in my writing style may be noticeable. Or it may not. Frankly, I'm too brain-fogged to be able to tell.
> 
> Since this was mostly written before I was very familiar with YGO canon, there're some details that are different from the anime/manga, but changing them would mean scrapping the whole fic, so we'll call this an alternate universe as well as canon-divergent. Just go with it, please. :) This is strictly timeline-what-timeline for both series. 
> 
> Despite the title, there are no actual duels in this fic (both because I find them incredibly boring and because I have zero idea how to play the DM card game). It's just a riff on "who you gonna call?" from the Ghostbusters theme song by Ray Parker Jr.

"Hey, Ryou…" Joey Wheeler's voice trailed off as he picked up one of the small lead game figures from a shelf filled with role-playing accessories. "Are these new?"

"Huh?" Turning to look, Ryou Bakura frowned. "Oh. I suppose they must be. Funny, I don't recall getting those."

The figures didn't seem to be Ryou's usual style. Instead of the fantasy costumes and weapons that fit his favorite Monster World game, these four figures were dressed in modern jumpsuits, each of a different color but similar enough in design to be considered uniforms. Each of the figures wore a high-tech backpack covered in lights and hoses. One of them had a device that looked like a box dangling from its attached cord in one hand.

Joey frowned as he turned the tallest of the four figurines over in his hands. This figure was of a lanky man with blond hair that rivaled Yugi's for eccentric style, since it resembled a scoop of soft-serve ice cream. "Y'know, these guys look kinda familiar."

"Yeah?" Tristan Taylor popped up beside Joey and peered at the figure in his hand. "Now that you mention it, they kinda do look familiar..."

"Yeah." Joey carefully set the blond figure back on the shelf and leaned closer to take a gander at the other three. A nagging feeling was telling him he had seen these guys before, only not as game pieces. He squinted at their jumpsuits, finally noticing the tiny red and white logo all of them wore on their shoulders. "Oh, shit!"

"What's wrong?" Yugi Mutou, who had been geeking out over the diorama Bakura had set up on the card table for them to play with, came scurrying over. "Joey? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, the problem ain't _me_." Joey swept the four figures off the shelf and plopped them down on the table. "You see these guys? You know who they are?"

A confused Ryou and Yugi both shook their heads.

"Well, I do. I used to live in New York and we heard about these guys all the time. These're the Ghostbusters!"

Apparently still not seeing the problem, Ryou scratched at the back of his head. "Okay. So?"

"So, they've been missin' since Friday, that's what. Ever since they went into the Domino City Museum to bust some evil spirit that was supposed to be hauntin' the joint." Joey gave Ryou a significant look. It was now Sunday, and no one had seen so much as a hair of the missing Ghostbusters since they had entered the museum. "Any of this soundin' familiar?"

"Oh, my." Ryou's eyes widened as he stared down at the four innocuous looking figurines. He clutched at the Millennium Ring on its cord around his neck. "Do you think they're really--? That he--? Oh, dear."

"You think they went after the spirit of the Ring? Hoo-boy." Tristan looked as freaked out as Joey was feeling. "So, that means these figures are actually--"

"--The _real_ Ghostbusters, yeah."

A flash of golden light signaled the arrival of another ancient spirit. The Pharaoh, in possession of Yugi's body, did not look amused as he growled out, "Tomb Robber."

The Ring flashed and its resident spirit assumed control of Ryou's body. He sneered at the assembled group. "What do you lot want?"

The Pharaoh drew himself up. "Release these captive souls at once!"

"Why should I?" Dark Bakura drawled, narrowed eyes casting a sly look at his sworn enemy. "I happen to like them this way."

A glowing third eye, the visible manifestation of his power, appeared on the Pharaoh's forehead. Magic gathered around him, stirring his clothing and hair in an effect Joey always thought of as 'the invisible blow-dryer.'

"Yes, all right, fine. Spare me the theatrics," Ryou's darker half scoffed. He stroked his hand over the Ring and mumbled something under his breath. 

Dark magic swirled around the table and, where there had been four painted lead figures, there were now four startled looking men, one of whom immediately reached over and thumped the shortest of the four on his red-haired head.

"'Don't blast him,' he says. 'He's just a kid,' he says." The angry brunet pointed an accusing finger at Dark Bakura. "That 'kid' turned us into action-figures, Ray!"

"More like 'action-less' figures," corrected the brown-skinned man. He stretched as if easing the kinks out of his spine. "Man, that was not my idea of a fun way to spend the weekend."

"So, let's bust this creep and make tracks for home." The brunet substituted the rifle part of his proton pack for his finger and aimed said weapon at Dark Bakura's nose. 

The dark spirit yawned and fingered the case containing Ryou's Duel Monsters deck, like a gunslinger awaiting the command to 'draw.' "Try it, mortal, and I'll feed your miserable souls to my Man-eater Bug."

"You'll do no such thing!" snapped the Pharaoh, third eye flickering back to life on his forehead.

"Holy crap, do you see that?!" The brunet couldn't seem to decide who to aim his weapon at, Dark Bakura or the Pharaoh. 

The tall blond with the ice cream 'do whipped out a beeping device from somewhere and, in a sweeping gesture, pointed it at everyone who wasn't a Ghostbuster. "I'm getting some very strange readings, Peter."

"No, Egon, _really_? 'Cause, between the kid with the glowing eyeball on his forehead and the one who turned us all into game pieces, I never would've guessed anything here was out of the ordinary!"

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Peter." Egon calmly adjusted a knob on the side of his device, which gave a loud warble as he pointed it again in the Pharaoh's direction. " _Hm_." 

The Pharaoh narrowed his eyes. "What is that… device?"

"A PKE meter. Uh, it detects psycho-kinetic energy." The red-head, the one Peter had called 'Ray', shot a look that seemed equal parts apalled and excited at the Pharaoh. "And, wow -- It says you're, um, _extremely_ possessed."

Peter squinted at him. "Can you be _minimally_ possessed?"

"Well--"

"I do not think I like you pointing that 'meter' at my partner and me." Eyes even sharper than usual, the Pharaoh took a half-step backward, one hand coming up to cradle the Puzzle in a move that seemed both possessive and protective. 

Darkness swirled from beneath the Pharaoh's feet and up his body before shooting toward Egon, the tendrils of shadow magic quickly enveloping the PKE meter. With a fountain of sparks and a noise like an accordion slowly wheezing its last breath, the device died a spectacular death. Startled, Egon dropped it to the floor, where it vanished into a puddle of shadows that hadn't been there a second before. A column of smoke rose up out of the puddle, which evaporated as suddenly as it had appeared.

Everyone looked from the dearly departed PKE meter to the Pharaoh, who raised the Eyebrow of Royal Smugness back at them. 

"Don't mind him," Dark Bakura said, with a nasty snicker. "He's used to getting his way. Comes with territory when you're a spoiled brat king."

The Pharaoh's narrow gaze snapped to the Ring spirit. The shadows writhing in the corners of the room grew darker and more restless. "What would you know about it?" 

"More than you, O Nameless One," Dark Bakura sneered back. 

"Guys, guys! No hitting below the belt! Now, shake hands and return to your neutral corners." Tristan stepped between the two ancient combatants, his hands raised in a placating gesture that was wasted on his audience, who only had eyes for each other. Joey thought about making a joke about UST before deciding that living outweighed the temporary fun of poking the pair of touchy ancient Egyptians. 

The two embodied spirits continued to glare at one another, their silence the only sign that they had heard Tristan. Satisfied that no-one was going to die (again) in the next couple of minutes, Joey turned his attention to the four actual adults in the room. " _Dude_." He grinned at them "You're the Ghostbusters! This is _awesome_."

"Yeah, we rock." Peter winked at him. "And we'll be happy to sign autographs later. In the meantime, I'd really appreciate someone telling me what the holy heck is going on." Peter nudged what was left of the smoking (and now extremely defunct) PKE meter with the toe of his boot. "The last thing I remember is trying to zap and trap the blond kid over there at the museum." 

"Too bad it didn't work--"

"I heard that, Wheeler!" snarled Dark Bakura, taking his glare off the Pharaoh long enough to shoot eye-daggers at Joey.

"Eh-heh-heh!" 

"Leave him alone, Thief." The Pharaoh turned his attention back to the Ghostbusters and, with quiet authority, said, "Now that you have been restored to your normal selves, I expect you will be anxious to leave this place." When no one moved, he added, in an ominous voice that had dropped even deeper than his usual baritone, " _At once_."

It didn't sound so much like a suggestion as a royal command, a fact not lost on anyone in the room. But Peter was the only one to protest. "Look, kid... I don't know who you think you are, but we don't take orders from _ghosts_."

The Pharaoh watched him with narrowed, glittering eyes. Joey was reminded uncomfortably of a fascinated cat staring down a strangely defiant mouse.

" _Pah_." Dark Bakura growled. "I'm no wimpy _ghost_. I am the spirit of the Millennium Ring!" He bared his teeth at the Ghostbusters. "You may call me Bakura."

"I'd rather call you long-distance. _Collect_ ," Peter grumbled with ill-grace. He glanced over at his companions. "Egon--?"

"According to these readings, both the so-called 'pharaoh' and the 'tomb robber' are powerful spiritual entities currently possessing the bodies of two human teenagers." Egon had acquired a new PKE meter (presumably from one of his colleagues) and now aimed it at Joey. "This one appears to be normal."

"That's only 'cause you don't know him," Tristan muttered, then danced back a couple of steps when the PKE meter was aimed at him in turn. "Hey! Normal human teenage here, I swear. No hitchhikers!"

"Eh, I'm Joey Wheeler," Joey said, finally realizing that introductions (and explanations) were in order and, since no one else was stepping up, that he'd apparently been elected to make them. He waved a hand at the two ancient Egyptians. "That's Yugi Mutou, currently host to the Pharaoh, and Ryou Bakura, AKA the tomb robber."

Dark Bakura growled and bared all his teeth. He had a lot of them, and they looked a bit sharper than anything a human mouth ought to house.

"...Or, just Bakura, as he apparently prefers to be called, _jeez louise_." 'Touchy ancient Egyptians' -- yeah, totally called _that_ one.

"Shut up, Wheeler." Dark Bakura had his deck out of the case and a card aimed halfway between the Pharaoh and the Ghostbusters before any of the rest of them could even blink. "Who we are is none of these interlopers' business."

"Hey, pal, you made it my business when you turned me into a collectible figurine," Peter snapped.

"You were attempting to seal me into one of those trap boxes. I was merely defending myself!"

Rubbing his forehead, where a headache was forming, Joey groaned. "I hate to say it, but he kinda has a point."

"No!" Tristan shot him a horrified look. "Are you crazy? We do not ever admit that the batshit spirit has a point, regardless of whether or not he actually does."

Dark Bakura shifted to aim whatever loaded card he was holding at the two of them. "I'll show you my point, you little--"

All the Ghostbusters immediately aimed some piece of lethal looking equipment at Dark Bakura. A low, electronic thrum reverberated through the room, and Joey realized it must be coming from the proton packs, all four of which were now powered on. He thought he could feel the sound in his back teeth.

"Look," Tristan said, trying to be reasonable. "Why don't we all just calm down--"

"Why don't you mind your own business before I mind it for you?" snarled Dark Bakura. The Millennium Ring was starting to glow.

"Hey, don't threaten the normal kid!" the fourth Ghostbuster said, stepping protectively in front of Tristan and instantly cementing his place as Joey's favorite.

From there, the conversation (for a very loose definition of 'conversation') devolved into shouting, threats, counter-threats, and general trash talking. Combined with the noise of the proton packs, it was so loud that Joey couldn't hear himself think, much less make sense of what the others were saying. He did manage to lip-read well enough to see Dark Bakura begin to frame the dreaded phrase that meant the start of a Shadow Game, and opened his own mouth to shout a warning. Fortunately, he wasn't the only one who had spotted the danger.

" _Enough_." 

The Pharaoh's exclamation cut through the noise with impressive ease. They all turned to look at him... and the imposing figure towering over him.

While the rest of them had been arguing and posturing, the spirit of the Puzzle had apparently gotten fed up with the stalemate and summoned his Dark Magician. The purple-clad Duel Monster stood protectively in front of the Pharaoh, his arms crossed over his armored chest. He frowned at them like he was judging all their life choices and finding them wanting.

Egon raised his PKE meter. Dark Magician narrowed his eyes at it. The meter uttered a noise like a rubber duck being strangled, emitted a single curl of blue smoke, and promptly disintegrated. They all watched the pieces cascade to the floor.

"...This trip is getting very expensive, equipment-wise," Peter noted in a conversational tone that belied the white-knuckle grip he had on his proton rifle.

"Maybe we should do as the nice Pharaoh asked and leave," suggested Joey's current favorite Ghostbuster, whose name he couldn't quite remember. Winfred? Winslow?

Ray shot the other man a betrayed look. "We can't just give up, Winston!"

Right, that was it: Winston. Winston Zeddemore, Joey's new best pal.

Winston grabbed Ray by the elbow and pulled him back from where he'd been sidling toward the scary Duel Monster as if that wasn't a potentially suicidal move. "We can if we want to live, Ray."

"But--!"

"No. Choose life, Ray." Winston reached out with his free arm and corralled Egon when it looked like the scientist was going to go for the trifecta with a third PKE meter. "Peter, a little help here?"

"Listen to Winston, he's got more sense than the rest of us put together," Peter said, shooting a quelling look at Ray and Egon. "And put that meter away, Egon, before it explodes, melts, or turns into a butterfly."

Apparently satisfied that Winston had the other two in hand, Peter turned back to the magical contingent. He frowned briefly at Dark Magician, then ignored him in favor of the Pharaoh. "Hey, Your Royal Whateverness, let me speak to the kid whose body you're wearing."

Joey could see that the Pharaoh took offense at the wording. Nevertheless, he retreated and allowed Yugi to resume control of his body. The change was instantly noticeable, as the teen took on a softer appearance, his eyes widening and his shoulders slumping out of the Pharaoh's perfect posture.

Yugi blinked his big innocent looking (Joey knew better, of course, but damn that kid could do puppy eyes better than anyone Joey knew) eyes at the Ghostbusters. "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yugi?"

"Yup!" Yugi beamed at Peter. "Please don't try to zap me. Dark Magician will be forced to intervene and things could get... messy."

All eyes returned to the Dark Magician, who simply straightened to his full (extremely impressive, even to Joey who dealt with Seto "Too Damn Tall for His Own Good" Kaiba on a regular basis) height and held out one hand for his staff, which appeared in a flash of dark magic. He gave the weapon a showy twirl and then aimed the business end of it at the Ghostbusters. 

There was a muffled wheeze from Egon's direction. Joey looked over in time to see a fourth PKE meter melt through the man's fingers as it turned to purple smoke which twisted like self-folding origami into the shape of a large butterfly.

"Dammit, Spengs!"

Egon ignored him in favor of staring mournfully at the butterfly, which flapped its wings and circled Egon's head once before flitting over to alight atop the Dark Magician's shoulder armor. The Magician smirked at them. 

"We've never seen a manifestation quite like this one, Peter." Egon was still staring at the butterfly. "The readings could have an incalculable value to science."

"So do you, pal. Try not to get yourself disintegrated, okay?"

Deciding someone had to try, again, to be the voice of reason, Joey said, "Look, we've been dealin' with this kinda stuff for awhile now--"

"You think we're gonna leave a bunch of kids to handle spirit possession and Tall-Dark-and-Purple over there all by yourselves?" Peter was leveling a very judgmental look at Joey, like he couldn't believe the crap coming outta Joey's mouth.

While Joey could see where the guy was coming from, it wasn't like the Ghostbusters were actually better equipped to deal with life or death card games than Joey and his friends were. "Hey, we've done all right so far!"

"Oh, yeah?" Peter challenged.

"Yeah! Last time I checked, the world hadn't been swallowed up by malevolent darkness."

"Is that an option?" Winston asked, looking taken aback.

Peter grimaced. "I think we'll pass on that one, thanks. I prefer my world _unswallowed_ , by anything."

"I hear ya," Joey said, with a great deal of feeling. "But we kinda need the Pharaoh in order to _keep_ it unswallowed, so I'm gonna have to insist you guys leave him where he is."

"I'm not sure I feel comfortable leaving a possessed kid running around--" Winston started to say.

Tristan cleared his throat. "Why don't we ask the 'possessed kid' what he wants?"

Everyone looked at Yugi, who beamed and gave them a cheerful little wave. 


End file.
